A LETTER FROM AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE
Sources have revealed that that once proud and defiant Gorean Master Richard Parkes, aka “The Manly Gorean Man,” is having problems coming to terms with the newer, more “PG” rated regime at the SL Forums.
“Yeah, Dick keeps posting, and they keep pulling ‘em,” our source, a childhood friend of Parkes explains. “It’s really shaken his confidence a lot. Ya gotta remember: he’s no ordinary Richard: he’s a proud Dick. But the hostility of the moderators there has really left him sagging.”
Our source’s account confirms reports that the pugnacious Parkes has been spotted around some of the seedier corners of Second Life in a state of apparent extreme inebriation. Most recently, clubgoers at the popular Gorean nightspot, The Rapist’s Refuge, report finding a half-naked Parkes snoring loudly beneath a large drugged bosk. Parkes was revived with a cup of black tea. Rumours suggest that the bosk is seeking legal advice.
“Dick’s in a real funk, alright, and he’s been hitting the kalda hard. He’s missed our last two scheduled games of Kick the Kajira, and the other regulars are starting to get really worried.”
“Dick used to recruit half of his kajirae from the old forums: they used to just slop over him there, begging him to do his “Manly Gorean Man” thing on them. Leia, Theia, Lia – all of the “-ias” really, they all thought he was the gods’ gift to women. Now – well, the supply has dried up, right? And his old kajirae are deserting him in droves, the ungrateful bastards.”
Most recently, Parkes was spotted by passersby lying alone on a Gorean Cuddle Rug in a gutter on the streets of Port Kar, assuming the Nada and fondling his whip knife carelessly while singing “The Cabin Boy” softly to himself. Witnesses report that Parkes was heard to mutter “Rosebud” under his breath as he lapsed into unconsciousness. Our source confirms that this was the name of Dick’s favourite childhood St. Andrew’s Cross.
