COCO THREATENS TO BOYCOTT! DEMANDS CIRCUMCISION!!

COCO INCENSED!! EL AL CIRCUMSIZES MALES PRIOR TO BOARDING AND SHE CRIES GENDER DISCRIMINATION!!

DELTA BANS JEWS FROM FLIGHTS TO SAUDI ARABIA!! COCO DEMANDS SKIN GRAFTS!!!

WHO IS THIS AVATAR? AND, WHAT'S WITH THE CURLERS!?

Grumpy Gorean Parkes Hits the Skids!; Is Dodgy Dick in Dicey Dilemma?

ANOTHER FORUM CONFIDENTIAL EXCLUSIVE
A LETTER FROM AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE

Sources have revealed that that once proud and defiant Gorean Master Richard Parkes, aka “The Manly Gorean Man,” is having problems coming to terms with the newer, more “PG” rated regime at the SL Forums.

“Yeah, Dick keeps posting, and they keep pulling ‘em,” our source, a childhood friend of Parkes explains. “It’s really shaken his confidence a lot.  Ya gotta remember: he’s no ordinary Richard: he’s a proud Dick.  But the hostility of the moderators there has really left him sagging.”

Our source’s account confirms reports that the pugnacious Parkes has been spotted around some of the seedier corners of Second Life in a state of apparent extreme inebriation. Most recently, clubgoers at the popular Gorean nightspot, The Rapist’s Refuge, report finding a half-naked Parkes snoring loudly beneath a large drugged bosk. Parkes was revived with a cup of black tea.  Rumours suggest that the bosk is seeking legal advice.

“Dick’s in a real funk, alright, and he’s been hitting the kalda hard. He’s missed our last two scheduled games of Kick the Kajira, and the other regulars are starting to get really worried.”

“Dick used to recruit half of his kajirae from the old forums: they used to just slop over him there, begging him to do his “Manly Gorean Man” thing on them. Leia, Theia, Lia – all of the “-ias” really, they all thought he was the gods’ gift to women. Now – well, the supply has dried up, right? And his old kajirae are deserting him in droves, the ungrateful bastards.”

Most recently, Parkes was spotted by passersby lying alone on a Gorean Cuddle Rug in a gutter on the streets of Port Kar, assuming the Nada and fondling his whip knife carelessly while singing “The Cabin Boy” softly to himself. Witnesses report that Parkes was heard to mutter “Rosebud” under his breath as he lapsed into unconsciousness. Our source confirms that this was the name of Dick’s favourite childhood St. Andrew’s Cross.

FORUM CONFIDENTIAL IS A "HAPPY" COMMUNITY

EPIDEMIOLOGY HEADLINE: THE SUICIDE PARADOX
"Dark Contrasts: The Paradox of High Rates of Suicide in Happy Places,"
Daly, Oswald, Wilson, and Wu (JEBO)

WSJ wrote: "Scholars say they've confirmed that places with the happiest citizenry also have the highest suicide rates."  I couldn't help but make a connection to the proliferation of recent avicides from Forum Confidential readers and letter writers.
The article goes on to say: "Using data on life satisfaction from the WVS and on suicide from the WHO, researchers found the unsettling link between happiness and suicides held across 21 developed countries..." and one independent blog of anonymous avatars "Neither climate nor religiosity appeared to be crucial factors." The article goes on to cite statistics, etc.

IT SEEMS LIFE'S BLOWS MAY FALL HARDER WHEN YOUR NEIGHBORS WEAR PERPETUAL GRINS.

FORUM CONFIDENTIAL IS THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON THE INTERWEBS
TELL US, WHO'S NOT HAPPY HERE?
SEND IN THOSE LETTERS

TALK DURTY TO ME!!!

Perpetual SL-ut wanderer and luv-maker, Love Leonoase, pens an OP in the SL Forum, "I'll report you!" wondering what, exactly LL does with all of the ARs they get. He asks: So I'm curious, what exactly happens when one child decides to run to "tell"?
You only need to check out his profile to see what he likes to do in SL. His world. His imagination.
Would YOU AR Mr. Love? Why or why not?

HEAR ME ROAR!!!

I AM DOGBOAT TAROUG!  HEAR ME ROAR!
"IT IS MY WORLD ALSO"

MODERATORS THREATEN LOCK!
ALL HELL IS RISING.

/me POURS A MARTINI